Friday, June 5, 2009


I woke up at 1 pm today! Crikey! Though I ran into my coworker at the Tea Lounge while I was writing and wound up staying up until 3 am. While I was there this creepy middle aged overweight dude kept trying to talk to me and asked me if he had talked to me on the Q train earlier, and then tried to give me advice about my laptop, and scolded me to be more careful when I was setting down my beer. He was looking at bikini babes on Myspace (you do know that those aren't real people, right?). I just kept ignoring him, and when I was typing something about female ejaculation I saw him looking at my screen so I put my arms over it and said "Excuse me?"
He then said "Oh fine, alright already." And moved down a seat and started talking to some young blonde French girl named Simone. Surprisingly she gave him her phone number, accepted his offer to walk her home, and left with him. I was shocked, don't they have creepy men in France? Why would someone in NYC do that? This is a big city, you can't trust strangers.
If you're going to risk your safety as a woman the guy could at least be devastatingly handsome, and terribly charming to the point where your rational sense gets momentarily turned off, not some middle aged, grey haired shlub. If I hear of any girls named Simone that went missing in Park Slope I'll be sure and tip the authorities off about the guy.

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