Book store trip

Went to the bookstore and bought a ton of birthday cards (cuz I'm that kind of girl), the new Cat Power bio, and a workbook on managing Anxiety. I hope it works. The workbooks on managing Social Anxiety and Shyness seemed a bit irrelevant for my circumstance since exercises involved making yourself do things like go to parties, and I already go to parties and they don't scare me at all. Even if people from reality TV shows laugh at me at them. My anxiety seems to swim between a lot of different labels, I guess I'm not a very consistent person.

Anti feminist twitters are so amusing, especially when I am first waking up. I laughed so hard my belly hurt this morning when I saw one that said this:
"Sotomayor called Obama "Sir" which was a good sign she might not be the kind of rabid feminist men's rights advocates were concerned about"

Hysterical!

I'm sure there are legitimate criticisms out there towards left wingers and towards feminism as well, however most of the people out there writing about them are amusing irrational nut jobs. Hee hee.

I had no idea that as a feminist I am not supposed to call men "Sir", I'll make a note of that one for future reference.

Finishing what you started.

I turned my thesis in for approval last week. It was so close to the deadline I'm not sure if I'll get in and get my degree. It is oh so ridiculous how long it is taking me to finish this thing! Three years for a two year degree? It makes little sense when you consider the fact that I finished my English BA in two years and my journalism BA in one year. I just feel less encouraged at this age in my life Je pense. The language course I registered for to fulfill my requirement also was canceled this past winter leaving me discouraged to work on my thesis when I knew I wasn't going to graduate anyways.


C'est la vie.

busy

I am reviewing the new Tori Amos album as well as John Vanderslice and an album from Diane Birch (she has the right haircut to make it with the hipsters.)

Here is the party I covered last month.


(No more late night parties on weeknights though! Bad idea.)

Why Can't I Hold the Door

Dear Men of New York City (and Minneapolis),
Why do you get angry when I hold open a door for you?
Does it somehow insult your masculinity?




I have noticed for a while now that men do not like it when I hold open doors for them. I don't even think about it, it is just something that I do. If someone behind me has a very large package in their hand, I will hold the door open for them since I know it will be difficult for them to reach the knob. If someone is going out the same door I am entering I will sometimes hold the door open for them. If I am going in the same door as another person behind me I will sometimes hold the door open or give it an extra push so it won't close before they get inside. I do this automatically because I have been trained to be a polite person, and plenty of people (men usually) do this for me. Women always seem grateful and thank me.

Men however, seem to not like this, in fact sometimes it seems to anger them and they will refuse to go through the open door. Which is silly, because not only does it waste their time, it wastes my time. Today I tried to open a door for a man at work because he had been about to exit just as I was entering, so I pulled the door open and stepped aside to let him go first. He just stood there staring at me like I was nuts. So I motioned with my hand for him to go. He finally said, angrily, "After you." If he would have just taken my gesture of politeness it would have saved us both sixty seconds of our lives. Or another time a man behind me walking into the post office was carrying a stack of packages so high it was covering his face, he could barely move, so I went ahead and pulled open the door to hold it for him. He said "No, I will get that for you." And then really strained himself to grab the knob from me and rearrange himself so he would be holding the door open for me, and all his boxes nearly tumbled to the ground. Or sometimes I will hold a door open for a man at a restaurant and he will say "No, I should be holding that open for you!" And they will trade places with me. It seems like men over 35 in particular find this to be weird or possibly offensive to them.

I do things like that without thinking of gender, like they just qualify as being a nice person. I don't think that solely women should have doors held open for them, because men sometimes need a hand as well. I don't understand, it's like some men think I am changing gender roles and treating them like a helpless woman. Really, just accept my door holding and exit please, it will save us both time.

I mean I think the whole "hold open a door for a woman, pull out a chair for a woman, carry bags for a woman, give up my seat on the bus to a woman" chivalrous mindset some men have is a nice gesture, but so unnecessary. I can be appreciative of it occasionally, but it can get to be a bit much. Just because I have a uterus and you don't don't mean I need to sit down while you stand, really only the elderly, pregnant, and injured need such gestures. Why can't polite gestures be for everyone, not just women?

(On a side note, when it comes to things like giving directions to strangers, swiping strangers on to the metro line, giving change, etc. I only do those things to women, probably because it involves social interaction, if a man is asking where a street is, I will ignore him. As a rule, if I ever hear a man trying to get my attention, I walk faster, even if I hear my name being said. Holding open a door is sort of something I just do before I have time to think.)

I twitter like a fiend.

I have finally caught the Twitter bug, though I've had an account for awhile now, I guess it took some friends using it as well for me to find any purpose for it within my daily life. Check it out, my life, in quickies: www.twitter.com/adrienneruth

Facebook Spamming

I seem to be getting these weird messages on Facebook from people who are listed as having gone to the same high school and university as me saying "Oh my god Adrienne! I can't believe I found you! I can't wait to catch up! It's been so long."
And I obviously do not know these people. Is this a new form of spamming? If so, finding people that went to a specific high school and university seems like it wouldn't be time efficient, I don't get it. Either way, they are not getting past the velvet rope on to my friends' list.